We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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