Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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