i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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