I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
