Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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