I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
