This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
