Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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