Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
