I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
