Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
