Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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