I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
