wakey wakey hands off snakey
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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