I can't watch pbs sober anymore
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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