so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
