I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am naked and annoyed.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
