My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
