I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
