Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
