I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
