Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
