Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
