it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
