im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
