I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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