Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
