Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
