dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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