dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
two words...techno handjob
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
