Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
