U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
