I puked a lego.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
