we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
