You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
