just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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