Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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