Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
