Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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