I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
please come you make the beer taste better
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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