Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Randomize
