Porn is love you can see.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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