No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
