Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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