do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I can't turn off my feet"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
