So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
