id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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