we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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