Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
