Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
